Life Without Beer Goggles

An alcoholism blog about the journey of living life sober

Meet the Mom

Posted on | May 18, 2012 | No Comments

So the big meeting happened the other day.  I introduced the special lady in my life to my mom.

Here’s how it went down y’all.  My mom was babysitting my niece and nephew for a week.  I offered to help by taking the kids to school in the morning because it’s just fun hanging out with them kids.  They are truly some funny kids.  My girl offered to come with me to take the kids and I instantly saw the opportunity to have her meet my mom.  I figured a quick ten minute meeting would be a perfect way to meet for the first time.

We had decided on this meeting at the beginning of the week so I figure I would warn my mom ahead of time.  When I told her that I was going to bring my “friend” to meet her she froze like a deer in headlights.  You see, I’ve never brought a girl home to officially meet mom.  It was sort of funny because she instantly was all about making sure she looked nice when I brought her over to meet my mom.

The next four days moved really quickly.  I think I changed my mind every day because I was very nervous about it.  I wanted her to meet my mom because I care very much about her and I want this to be right.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve met somebody as special as her and I want to experience everything the way it’s supposed to be.  I want to date, fall in love, introduce her to my mom, have fun and enjoy everything about it.

The big day came and we decided she was going to meet me at my brother’s house where my mom would be.  I got there early and the kids were all ready for school, about 45 minutes early.  They really wanted to meet her.  My mom was all dolled up and ready for the big sit down.  We sat there sipping on our coffee and she was asking me about my new “friend”.  It was obvious that we were both nervous.  I kept on looking at my watch and the minutes were ticking by like the last period of class on the last day of school.

The text came through my phone saying that she had arrived and was parking her car.  I walked out and the kids were right there next to me trying to be the first to catch a look at their uncle’s girl.   I must say that as she walked up I was taken aback by how beautiful she looked.  Prior to that day I had never seen her dressed in her business clothes.  I tell you what, that woman can rock a pant suit like nobody’s business.  She looked a little nervous and my heart was beating like it wanted out of my body.

She walked in the house and my mom gave her a hug.  We sat at the dinner table with ten minutes till we had to take the kids to school.  The kids joined us and pretty much dominated the conversation and I could have not been more grateful. We talked about what she does for a living, Disneyland, where my mom lives, pretty much small talk.  It went pretty well and when the ten minutes were up we left.  After we dropped off the kids it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I had finally introduced the girl of my dreams to the woman I love than anything in the world.

I got good feedback later on that day from my mom.  Now it is time to have her meet the rest of the clan.  As always, I’ll let you all know how that goes.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Category: Family, Relationships

Status Change

Posted on | May 16, 2012 | 2 Comments

In this day and age Facebook has changed how we present ourselves to the world.

The time finally came when the moment of truth arrived.  The special lady in my life is also on Facebook and our relationship has been getting more and more serious.  We’ve had some times together that have changed me and how I look at life.  I’ll write more about that soon enough.  My girl is also on Facebook like the rest of us.  In her profile she has her relationship status visible to her friend and I made my private when I got divorced and didn’t think I’d ever change it or make visible to my friends again.

Yesterday was the big day y’all.  I’ve been making jokes for the last week or so because we had “the talk” and she still had her status as single.  We were texting back and forth yesterday and she replied with a let’s do this.  I was a little taken back but I told her I was going to do it when I got back to my computer.  I was in the middle of a meeting and for the next hour I was a little nervous.

The reason why I was nervous was because whenever I see somebody changing their relationship status I get on there and blow up their Facebook.  It’s fun to see all the great comments and everyone knows that it’s not what they expected when they made the status change.  I was also nervous because it was a big thing for me.  I really never expected to feel like I feel today and it’s almost like being a teenager again.  It’s awesome!

I got on Facebook and found the place where I update my personal information.  I made my relationship status visible to my friends.  I then changed my status from single to in a relationship.  Once that was made I tagged her and Facebook told me she’s have to accept.  I was all, what if she doesn’t accept and got even more nervous.  Finally the time came to hit the save button and I have to admit that I had to take a deep breath before I clicked on the save button.

Sure enough, my Facebook got all blows up!  (Please excuse some of the language but it all had to be posted word for word.)

Me is in a relationship.
Me Whatever, just say your peace and get it over with.
Tim ur post doesnt say anything!
Me o__0
Tim oh relationship status change..Good for you Big O…I hope someday I can do the same
Me Are you asking me to hook up with you? I know I’m cute, but now “gay cute”. Thanks for the offer though.
Tim no bro to change my staus!!!!!!!!! see u went with ur homo tendicies again…So who is the lucky guy? U can become a massues and hope John Travolta comes in
Me Too funny. I’m surprised that Toni hasn’t come in and given her blessing.
Toni whooo hooo I almost missed it :) are you happy ? does she make you happy? because YOU deserve HAPPY! I just want nothing but Happiness for you :) whooo hooo :) Blessings Blessings Blessings but if she hurts you!!!! angry angry angry :)
Tim she is a trans?
Me You’re so sweet! I might as well drag Stacy into this conversation since it’s her fault I’m all smiling and have my Facebook blowing up.
Toni Tim is being Funny but oh no Johnny has not got here yet !!! Are you ready LOL
Tim im being nice compared to what Johnny will do to him..or should i say the HIM’S
Me Yeah, when the Jardinero gets here this is gonna get all crazy.
Me Excuse me, there are a few people that do need to know. Thanks to Tony, Rich, Eric, Robert, Heather and Angi for all you did. ♥
Tim Hey, I can get crazy, im just trying to hold back, be respectul of the Big O………..
Tim Need to know what? Ur out of the closet and dating a trans? Its not the first time O…!
Me I know you can. You’re just not the intigator.
Tim nope and i have no fricking idea what that means!..LOL
Tim seriouslly though…Happy for u big O
Me It means I can’t spell.
Tim LMAO…ok i got it….
Tim HOW I HAVENT SEEN BIG O ON HERE LIKE THIS IN AGES..ITS AMAZING HOW SOMEONE ELSE EJCAULUTATING HIM GETS HIM ALL FACEBOOKED AND SHIT
Me Yeah, I thought that was coming. LOVE HOW YOU POSTED THAT IN JARDINERO FONT.
Tim yeah, im getting u prepared
Robert Congrats to you Oscar! I’m happy for you dude!
Me Thanks Ninja, you had a lot to do with this.
Angi This would be a good time for payback jokes, but I got nothing.
Me This is the perfect time to that Angi. Feel free to come back and visit when you got something.
Tim LMAO..Dont let Angi fool u..she s building it up rightnow
Me I heard that!
Angi Tim is absolutely right, my mind in dusting off and getting into gear. Beware O.
Rich I’m so happy for you O. Tell me, was the Asia Carrera blow up doll really upset when she found out? Or is your new boyfriend ok with an open relationship?
Angi Rich beat me to the good stuff!
Rich Judges?
Me The great thing about both Asia and my girl is that they both get along just fine. On Fridays I even get to have them both.
Angi It’s Goood!
Me LMAO!!!!!!!
Me I really miss the judges.
Tim AHAHAHAHHAHAHA he has a muslim blow up doll. she blows up herself!
Angi I think it’s great that size doesn’t matter to her! You found a real winner there O.
Tim LMFAO! now thats good shit!~
Me I wear a prosthetic so I can get the job done.
Tim are u the pitcher or catcher?
Me It depends on what day of the week it is.
Tim aha i see…the change up….see u comprise..ur relationship will last a long time
Angi Some things never change
Tim LOL
Me And that is what makes me all fuzzy inside.
Tim I just drop my phone..Shit..dont bend over Tim, dont bend over!
Tim A fuzzy dick??
Me Is your phone made out of soap?
Angi Has she seen your pics from High school?
Tim nope..not takeing any chances….LOL
Me No she hasn’t. I’m gonna show those to her tonight. She’s gonna laugh at my business in the fron and party in the back.
Stacy @Angi- wait… Pics from high school… Before I change my status I think I better see these!
Tim did u just meet her and changed ur status?? I thought u changed it a while back? u buying hookers and tricking us by status change?
Angi Oh O’s hs pics are classic!! A real Casanova!
Me Wait a second, “Casanova”? You’re so kind Angi.
Tony He and Romeo ain’t never been friends.
Rich Nice Angi!
Stacy ‎@Me- so honey… When do I get to see these pics????
Rich O doesn’t drink, so he has to be the catcher!
Me Once a catcher, always a catcher!
Me Tiki! Thanks for coming over man. Thank you for everything you did.
Tony What did I do? You have no proof.
Me LOL, yeah you did my friend. Yeah you did. You know I can never repay for what the LTOD did for me.
Me Hey LTOD, meet Stacy. She somehow manged to change my life and put a smile on my face. Y’all are gonna like her.
Tim Me u must be happy with Obama
Me LOL
Angi You know I’ve always had a strong sarcastic side O. I never personal was swayed by your geeky hs charm.
Me ‎”How you doin’!”
Angi Nice to meet you Stacy. I’ll introduce you to the Oscar-in-your-life support group when you are ready.
Angi Still unphased. Keep trying.
Me ‎”life support group”! Classic.
Tim I saw Me walking down the street holding a car door the other day.. I said Me! why u carrying that car door. He said, so if it gets hot I can roll down the window
Yeni Congrats!!
Me Thanks Yeni. Sorry about the fifty notifications that are about to come your way. ♥
Tim Damn Me..people congrat u and dont realize this is all one big lie! #fraud..LOL
Me All for my book. Makes good research. LOL
Angi I hope we are all going to be compensated for this “book” you have been talking about. And by compensation I mean money.
Me And by money you mean pleassure?
Angi Unlike your girl, I am particular about size so no. Lol
Me She is pretty understanding about that. Bless her heart!
Johnny I DONT CARE WHAT MAN U.HAVE SEX WITH SIR, CARRY ON.
Me Thank you for your blessing Sir.
Johnny CAN U GIVE STACY MY # THO.
Me Hey, I don’t need the competition. I got her convinced that it doesn’t get better than the O.
Rich Howdy Stacy! Welcome to a taste of LTOD!
Angi She must be young.
Me She is younger than the O.
Stacy It doesn’t get better than the Big O! ;)
Me Oh snap! You go baby.
Stacy I’ve got your back ;)
Rich So that proves it, O IS the catcher!! Imjustsayin
Rich She’s behind him all the buey!
Me LMBO
Stacy Ok that is funny!
Johnny BIG O RUGO BURNO ??
Me Just on my tramp stamp.

It was one fun day.  Those of you that helped me save my life know who you are and know that I will always be grateful for all you did for me.  I’m glad I met my girl and I think this is something really special because I’m terrified right now.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Category: Friendship, Relationships

Time to Say Goodbye

Posted on | May 2, 2012 | No Comments

I’m writing this not knowing if I’m even going to post it.  A person that’s very dear to my heart recently made me see that we can’t ever forget that past but we really need to let it go before we can move on.  I have realized that I’m finally at that point in my life that I’m ready to let go of that past so I can fully commit to moving forward.  I’ve decided to write a goodbye letter that now seems way too overdue.

“Hi,

It’s been almost two years since I’ve talked to you.  I hope you’re well and that things have settled down for you.  Funny, right now I really don’t know exactly what to say to you.  You see, this has been a very long and hard road to navigate for me. 

I fell in love with you almost the second I saw you.  When I met you I was at a point in my life that it was either give up and die or stand up and fight for me.  I will never be able to thank you for helping me fight for me.  I do believe that we both got one another through a very hard time in our lives.  Looking back I very much believe that things happen for a reason.  If things, all things, didn’t happen for a reason then I have no idea why I’m so lucky to be where I am today.

I am very grateful that I got to spend seven years with you and I have to admit that most of those years were amazing.  You filled my life with so many things that I had never even thought of before.  You let me experience what it was like to be a step-father to your great kids.  You helped me become a man, which was way too overdue.  You filled my life with laughter and happiness day in and day out.  As time goes by I have chosen to ignore the bad and focus on the good time so I didn’t walk through life with sadness and pain.

I think that what is sad about writing this letter is that I knew this day would finally come and I didn’t really know what it was going to feel like.  When we split up I told myself that I would not put up a wall and keep everyone away so I wouldn’t feel that much pain again.  I knew that you could never be replaced and trying to find someone like you would be insane.  I also knew that I could never love someone like I loved you.  You are truly one of a kind and hope you have nothing but happiness for the rest of your life.

I’m finally where I thought I would never be.  I finally got to the end of that painful road and for some incredible miracle I’m on a whole new road.  I needed to say goodbye to you before I got too far down this new road and am able to enjoy the ride.

Thanks for everyday you put a smile on my face.”

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Category: Life

Time to Confess

Posted on | May 1, 2012 | No Comments

So as some of you that read this blog know, I’ve met somebody.  I have to confess that this was so not in the plans at all.  I honestly don’t even know why I even contemplated going out with anyone in the first place.

We’ve been going out for about almost month now and it got to the point where the cards were put on the table.  I didn’t think I’d ever get to the point where I’d be confessing my sins to anyone for many different reasons.  I’m not very proud of many things that I’ve done in my life but I don’t regret any of my actions in the least.  I just didn’t think I’d ever have feelings for anyone again and if I did, I knew that if she found out a fraction of my mess that she’d run away for sure.

You know, for a person that writes about his feelings all over this site I’m finding myself at a loss of words at this point.  These days I don’t have hundreds of thoughts running through my head but I find myself having many feelings dancing all over the place.  I have to admit that this is incredible even though I was trying to avoid it as much as possible.

Well, we were talking and the conversation turned to telling each other about some of our intimate past.  I took a deep breath and began to confess.  I told her about my years of trying to drink myself to death.  I told her about why my marriage ended.  I told her that I was in love with my ex-wife and that my divorce really did a number on me.  I told her about me.  I told her that I am as flawed as they come.  I warned her that I come with an airplane full of baggage and that all of it is ugly.

She didn’t run away.  She listened and was willing and ready to hear more.  I tried my hardest to scare her away and I failed.  She told me about her crap and I must say that it was entertaining.  I guess after living my life everyone else’s baggage seems not that bad to me.  I never thought I would meet her and I never expected her to be perfect.  She’s not perfect at all and her flaws just make her a better person in my eyes.

It’s really weird being in a “normal” relationship.  I like that the scary stuff is all out there and behind us.  There will be arguments and issues that come up just like any other relationship but this feels right.  I’m scared out of my mind but things are moving at just the right pace.  The boundaries are being set, the respect is there and best of all its really fun.  I keep on thinking that this is all new, this is too good to be true, but at the end of the day I keep on telling myself to just go with it.

I got my fingers crossed, prepared for the worst and hoping for the best.  I’ll keep you all updated about this new chapter in my life.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Category: Life, Relationships

I Forgot What It Feels Like

Posted on | April 23, 2012 | No Comments

I guess you can say that I’ve never really dated anyone.  When I was a kid I was very awkward and my self-esteem was not that high.  I went out with a few girls in high school but we all know that doesn’t really count.  In college I was too busy studying because I’m not the brightest cookie in the jar.  I actually had to go to class and study in order to graduate.  After college I worked and partied my butt off.

I met my ex-wife in rehab.  Yes, I know it’s a huge rule to NOT get involved with anyone in or after rehab.  I think we can all agree that did not end up well at all.  We didn’t date in the traditional sense of the dating.  I fell in love with her but we couldn’t go to the movies, out to dinner or take walks in the park because we were sort of captive in the treatment facility.

When I got divorced I didn’t want to get involved with any woman for the rest of my life.  It took me many months before I could even take a breath without feeling the pain of my heartbreak.  Once I was able to live I turned to my only escape in the world, golf.  Soon after that I dove head first into my career and never looked back.  I felt that I didn’t have anything else but work, the gym and golf when I could fit it in.  I didn’t want anyone to interrupt my life.  I was taught in treatment that recovery is a selfish thing and I took that to hear all this time.

Well, it has now been a year and a half and my life was interrupted.

I had forgotten what it was like to…

  • Smile for no reason at all
  • Be wanted
  • Want to ignore life
  • Hold hands
  • Spend the weekend in bed talking
  • Laughing at silly things
  • Go out to dinner and not be hungry
  • Feel butterflies in my stomach
  • Just want to talk on the phone about nothing for hours

Maybe I didn’t forget all those things because I never got the chance to do all those things.  I never had somebody look into my eyes and feel like they’re looking into my soul.  I didn’t realize that at my age I have never really dated anyone.  I’ve always been too busy living my life on fast forward.  There were all those years of wanting to destroy myself and the world so a relationship was out of the question.  Then there were all those years living my life for someone else but did learned a very hard and valuable lesson.

It’s been a very long year and half but I’m finally smiling for no reason at all.  I paid a very high price to get her but it was well worth it.  I’m finally learning what it’s like to be human after all.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Category: Life, Relationships
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