Life Without Beer Goggles

An alcoholism blog about the journey of living life sober

I Hear You Girlfriend!

Posted on | October 1, 2013 | 2 Comments

I Hear You Girlfriend!I recently got a comment from a wonderful reader of this fine blog that went like this…

“Your article about butt sniffing actually made me laugh out loud ALOT. I was sitting on the sofa feeling overwhelmed by the task before me – getting sober. It seems impossible.”

I do have to agree with this person, the butt sniffing post was a classic!

I’d now like to turn her and your attention to the second sentence in that fine literary review.  Not the part about her lounging activities but the task before her, the task of getting sober.

I don’t know about you but I fucking hate tasks.  Matter of fact I hate work, cleaning the house, going to the gym, making my bed, driving anywhere, doing my taxes, holidays being on top and many other things that I would call tasks.

My point is, and I do believe that my fellow drunks with a little some sober time under their belts would agree, that getting sober and staying sober is fun.  That’s right I said fun!  Well ok, not at first but soon after that it’s a fucking blast.

Yeah at the beginning there’s all the being thirsty, can’t sleep, feel sorry for yourself bullshit but that soon goes away.  The reason that stuff goes away is because seeing life without beer goggles (Hu, see what I did there?  Award winning blog shit!) after being drunk for so long is truly magnificent.

I’m not pulling your chain here, I see the funny in so much more now that I’m sober than ever before.  I’m an assclown to being with and when that pain and loneliness went away shit got real.  When shit got real it got fun and worth working for it.  We all have our bad days but those “normal” people they have bad days just like we do.  Once you get a taste of true sobriety (True sobriety is the kind sobriety that a person that’s truly hungry for a better life achieves.) you will cherish it and never let it go.

Dear reader that sent that comment, I love you.  We all love you and wish you nothing but the best.  Now get on out there and get you some of that sweet life you deserve.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

9/11 12 Years Later

Posted on | September 11, 2013 | 1 Comment

9-11 12 Years LaterThis day fucking sucks and it will always suck.

Does it suck more than Pearl Harbor?  I don’t know, I’m not that damn old.  We also only have grainy images of Pearl Harbor.  We have thousands of hours of video of those planes hitting the Twin Tower and of people choosing to jump to their deaths because they didn’t want to burn to death.

Fucking terrorist are human beings that need to be removed from this planet.  What kind of dumb shit thinks that their God wants them to kill other people?

Yes, I’m angry!

12 years ago today I was a flight attendant.  At the time I had my dream job.  I worked in an industry full of gay dudes and horny MILFs.  You do the math!  I was traveling around the world drinking and getting MILF ass on just about every layover.

12 years ago today my phone rang way too early.  I had gotten back from a Tokyo trip the night before and was tired and hung over.  My friend says that she was on her way from the airport and to turn on the news.  Yup, just like most everyone else, I turned on the news and saw the second plane hit.

I spent the rest of that day glued to the TV.  I spent that night in a jam packed bar that was dead quiet.  Fucking changed my life and changed how I felt about my dream job.  I flew for two more years but it wasn’t the same.  Passengers turned to a bunch of needy assholes.  Eventually Paris, London and Tokyo layovers were no fun.  I also had stopped drinking after I went to rehab and let me tell you, being a flight attendant sober fucking sucks.

12 years after that awful day I consider myself very lucky.  I am now doing truly what I love to do and I’m also doing who I truly love.  (Fucking award winning sentence there.) I think about my flight attendant years once in a while.  I think about 9/11 less and less these days but every years on this day I am sadden about that day.

I’m sure you have your own “where were you on 9/11” stories.  We all have that story.  No, we will never forget and we shouldn’t.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!


Posted on | September 5, 2013 | No Comments

AcceptingWith that title you probably think this is some deep post…WRONG!!!

The gym is very much like AA meetings!

Let me back up a little and get you all caught up.

I’ve been going to my new gym for about three months now.  My addiction is lifting weight so I won’t drink or kill somebody.  It’s great therapy.  Anyways, I go to the gym Monday through Saturday mornings at the same time.  As you would imagine I see the same people every morning because people that go to the gym on a regular basis are also addicts.

As adults we don’t make friends the way we did as kids.  I can’t just walk up to somebody and say “Will you be my friend?”  As adults life is just not that easy and if I said that they think I have special needs.  Mornings at the gym are for people that are there to workout.  Afternoons at the gym are for people that wanna get laid.  The morning people are not approachable and the ones that know each other stick in their little packs.

I don’t go to the gym to get laid or make friends.  You all know I hate everyone in this fucking world and I have a hot ass girlfriend that keeps me very happy therefore I don’t need new friends or new ass.  So pretty much for the last three months I haven’t talked to too many people.  Three people did take the time to approach me and now we talk and lift on a regular basis.  Today was different.  Today I had a few people say stuff to me.

Stranger #1:  “That’s very creative!” (Regarding an exercise I was doing.)

Stranger #2:  “I can’t do shrugs on that machine I just don’t feel it.”

Stranger #3:  “You’re really bulking up.” (I think the dude was hitting on my.)

It was very nice to finally be accepted at the gym.  Hell, I spend three hours a day there so I might as well make the best of it.

This brings me back to the gym being like AA meetings.

People that go to meeting usually go the same place at the same time.  When a new person goes they’re all shy and tend to keep to themselves and go home right after the meeting’s over. But, when the regulars see that this new person keeps coming back and sharing they will quickly friend their drunk ass.

There you go, my theory that the gym is like an AA meeting.  Maybe we should have AA meetings at the gym.  Bunch of crazy fuckers full of coffee and filled with emotional shit pumping iron.  There’s a ton of YouTube videos there!

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

Rehab for Two

Posted on | August 30, 2013 | No Comments

Rehab for TwoDid I ever tell you guys about my upstairs neighbor?  I want to say I did post something about it but I’m too damn lazy to look back.

So my neighbor is in her late sixties, single, one daughter, one grandson and one awesome thirst for booze!  A few months ago we get a knock at the door and it’s our neighbor that hardly ever says a word to us drunk off her ass.

She asked if she could come in because she wanted to talk.  Long story short she ended up in rehab a few days later.  Her family apparently is used to her going on week long binges.  We hoped the best for her and were optimistic that drunk granny would become sober granny.

Nope!  Granny went fell off the wagon again.  I came home from the gym and her grandson was parking in her spare parking space.  I thought that this couldn’t be a good sign at all because dude never comes over.  I was in the kitchen and I heard something outside.  I tip toed over to spy on whoever is out there.  Sure enough dude was helping his drunk ass grandma down the stairs and off they went.

Good luck drunk granny!

Now this post is titled “Rehab for Two”…

What the fuck is up with Lamar Odom?!?!

Crack?  Really?  C’mon man!!!

I can just imagine all black people around the country just shaking their heads and thinking Lamar’s gone made us look bad.

Lamar’s got money he can do better than crack!  Who’d ever think that anybody could make the Kardashians look good?

On top of that he goes and gets popped for a DUI at 3 in the morning.  If you’re out at 3 in the morning you’re only going to find trouble.

He’s an unrestricted free agent and now the only team that might give him a shot is the Raiders.  Ain’t no NBA team that will touch this crack head, but the Raiders will.

I just don’t get it.  Drunk granny has a great job and lives in a nice condo but because she’s lonely she goes off the deep end.  She’s certainly not ugly and looks very good for her age, she can go get her some.  I do know lonely and wanting to drink but drunk granny sure can put them away.

As for Lamar I really can’t relate.  Drugs were never my thing and I only know the love of sweet sexy alcohol.  What I really can’t get is how a dude with all that talent that still has a chance to play a few more years for some straight cash, can get into crack.  Let’s face it Khloe Kardashian is a nice looking piece of ass.  I be liking them curves and with her cash she only gets sexier.  Come on Lamar you’re better than that.  I wish you luck homie.

Peace out drunks…

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

That’s a Gassy Situation

Posted on | August 28, 2013 | 2 Comments


Thats a Gassy SituationCan we talk politics and what’s going on in the world on a drunk’s blog?

That’s right it is my blog so I guess we can!

I’m very lucky in that my better half is a very sharp cookie.  This girl’s got her a master’s degree is behavior of something or other.  She’s very street smart, sharp in business, huge heart and an animal in the sack.  Truth sometimes doesn’t hurt.  ;-)

So even she can’t explain to me why this Bashar Assad would gas his own people in Syria.  That’s like me taking a shit in my stir fry and eating it.

I know that this has nothing to do with sobriety but it bothers me.  I hate turning on the news and they’re showing me a bunch of dead kids wrapped up in white sheets like they’re in cocoons or something.

It gets me thinking about how fucked up people can be.  People are always fucking with one another in one way or another.

That last sentence should be a lyric in a song some place.

I know that AA meeting are for working on us but I sure would like to bring world issues up at the next meeting.  I can only imagine the response from that wild bunch.  “That’s not in the Big Book so we can’t talk about it!”  I think that would be hilarious to bring up at a meeting!

Yeah, the old lady and I watch the news every night and we just shake our heads at some of the shit going down.  I’m at the point that I DVR The Dan Patrick Show and milk for the entire day.  A three hour show that takes me like 14 hours to watch.

I just noticed that I’m all over the place on today’s post.  See, this is the kind of award winning blogging comes from pointless writing.  You don’t get Top 15 Alcoholism Blogs two years in a row without pointless ranting like this!

Alright, let’s tie this puppy up.  Syria was on my mind and how cruel people are to each other. I think if all adults took naps we would have world peace.  The answer to world peace are naps.  You heard it here first!

I hope you’re doing well and are still taking it one meeting at a time.

Don’t forget, you’re not alone!

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